Six down. 39 to go. I’ve never practiced so many times in the course of a week and, holy karma, I am sore. From the top of my head to the tips of my toes.
When I got to the studio for tonight’s C1, I ran into another OMie from training – Hannah. She’s sore, too. We talked how we both knew we’d be taking LOTS of modifications.
Most of the time, I don’t shy away from modifications. If anything, I embrace them. It’s incredibly empowering to practice the way you need it – not with a rigid set of mandates. But, once in a while, I still get hung up thinking I SHOULD be able to express a posture more fully. I SHOULD be able to balance without wobbling. I SHOULD be able to <fill in the blank.> But, as I talked with Hannah this evening, I looked at her and said:
Who cares if we modify? When I get to the end of my life, do I believe my worth will be judged on whether or not I took a few extra moments in Child’s Pose? Nope. Sure don’t.
Yoga’s about getting out of your head and into your body. It’s about letting your breath be more important than self-judgment. But, we’re human, and we spend a lot of time in our heads, don’t we?
I’ll practice 39 times before graduation on April 13th. That’s 39 more chances to accept myself as I am during that particular practice. I won’t be perfect. I’ll strive to go with the flow, literally and figuratively, practicing the way I most need it.
Today’s intention: I will let go of self-judgment and doubt on and off my mat, choosing to accept where I am at any particular moment.
Note: If you’re following along, you’ll see I didn’t post practice 4 and 5 of 45. It’s not that I can’t count. If I post after every practice and every lecture class, those of you who subscribe via email will have a flooded inbox. I won’t do that to you.