Afraid to fail.

Why are we? Afraid to fail, I mean.

Yesterday, we spent about an hour practice teaching Round Robin style. We went through a class together, with a different person teaching a portion of the sequence. As if that’s not jarring enough, nobody knows when it will be their turn. You hope you’ll be the last one picked – or that maybe, if you’re lucky, the teachers will forget you altogether.

But that’s not gonna happen. Our teachers are smart and – darn it – inclusive. Everybody will have their turn. OMies expressed different levels of enthusiasm – and terror – about Round Robin-ing. As we got on our mats, I heard a lot of “I’m not ready” and “I hate this.” I only heard a couple of “I don’t love this, but I’m willing to try.” I fall into the latter category.

My OMies are wonderful people, with whom I’ve become very close over the past five weeks. We’ve built a circle of trust and I believe each person recognizes that. But when it’s time for the peanut butter to hit the jelly, fear sneaks back in. Fear can be a tenacious son of a gun.

Maybe it’s my age, maybe I’m just too tired to give a damn. Whatever the case, somewhere along the line, my fear of failure has left my life except for in rare circumstances. I wish I could sprinkle dust on everyone around me – my OMies or not – to alleviate their fear and apprehension.

Because here is what I truly believe:

  • There’s no failure. There’s only learning. Some of the toughest things in my life (“failures”) put me on a better and happier path. Granted, it’s hard to realize that when you’re in the middle of a big pile of yucky.
  • Trust the people who encourage you. In my experience, people respect others who are brave enough to try, even if they don’t succeed.
  • If you’re surrounded by nay-sayers, please understand their negativity is a reflection of what’s happening in their heads. It has nothing to do with you.

These last three weeks of training are going to be intense as we absorb more information and attempt to finish our 45 required practices. There will be more of the dreaded Round Robins. There will be frustration. There will be tears. There will also be more love and support than I would have thought possible when I started this program.

To any OMies reading this, we have lots to learn. We’ll forget to re-engage a breath. We’ll skip the left side of Sun B, we’ll get tongue tied. SO. WHAT. We’re all in this together.

To anyone not in our Teacher Training, this applies to you, too. Be fabulous. Be willing to try new things. Be gentle with yourself.

Keep Confident And Carry On, y’all.

#Nama

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